Congratulations Jio

There's something so inspiring, so profound, so emotional about graduations ("emotional" being the key word). I'm writing this blog as I sit at my brother, Jiovanni's high school graduation. I intended to sit in my bottom floor seat thinking about my life, my to-do list, my high school years. But, once Jiovanni and his fellow seniors began processing into the auditorium of El Camino College tears began rolling down the eyes of the woman seated behind me, and I found myself in a state of joy so powerful, I could feel tears forming in my eyes as well.

Jiovanni is technically my step-brother. He's an amazing young man. He's polite. He's courteous. He's loving, caring, and more intelligent than he believes he is. He's your average teenager in that he keeps to himself, doesn't like to answer questions in full sentences, and prefers to be with and talk to his friends over his family most of the time. But what makes him different than most teenagers is this: if given the opportunity and shown enough love and support, he'll help change the world in a powerful way through pursuing whatever he's passionate about.

Jio (as he's known to family) is extremely excited today. I've never seen him smile so much and for so long. Everyone he truly loves is here to celebrate this day with him. I'm honored to be included in that group. As a "step-sister," you never know if you'll be accepted as family. Thanks to my step-mother, Jio always has.

As a former teacher, I can only imagine how excited the faculty feels right now. As a college grad, I can only imagine the excitement today's graduating class has. And, as the sister of today's most amazing graduate (in my opinion, of course) I can only imagine how proud and how joyful every parent in the auditorium; especially my father and step-mother, are.

Students are walking across stage accepting their diplomas at this point in my blog. I get the chills thinking about Jio about to accept his. Although I can't wait for Jio's college graduation, I'm proud to see him walk across the stage now. He worked hard
this year juggling school and basketball (and his first relationship).

Interestingly, I almost didn't make it to today's graduation. Well, I should say "I" thought I wasn't going to make it. It became crystal clear to me about an hour ago God had planned for me to here all along. I'm glad he did.

Congratulations Jio. Thank you for letting me feel as proud as everyone else today. May this be the beginning of many great things to come.

The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow

Finally, the sun is up when my eyes open! Last week, the mornings in Los Angeles were overcast. The sun wouldn't show it's face until about noon. For some reason seeing the sun this morning reminds me of all the places in the world I've lived and visited. You know, no matter where you are, the beauty of the sun never changes. Our challenges in life change. Our circumstances in life change. But the sun, the beauty of life, and our planet always stay the same (thankfully). Everywhere I've been I've had great experiences, crazy experiences, and challenges that seemed impossible at the time. Funny, the challenges are what I remember most. That's when I grew the most. As I see the sun this morning and reminisce, I can't help but smile and feel at peace. I've lived and am living a phenomenal life. I'm also thinking about the countries I haven't yet visited and awoken in to see the sun. Since my boyfriend is Portuguese and spent a portion of his childhood in Lisbon, Portugal, I found a picture showing a sunrise there. I haven't shared this with him yet, but I look forward to waking up and seeing the sun there one day.

"When the sun rises, it rises for everyone."

Cuban Proverb

Twin Testimonial

I have to say this a lot: I am not Ramona. But, I can see how people would confuse me with her. After all, she is my identical twin sister.  

I know what you're thinking: "they don't look alike!"  A lot of people say that.  Then, they see this picture:

Some people recognize subtle differences between the two of us. I think the differences are huge.  Her face is round.  Mine is narrow.  She has two dimples.  I have one big one.  My sister's smile always looks so calm, so natural, so angelic.  Mine is always rather wide and forced.  Her hair is longer.  My skin is a little lighter.  She's a little taller.  I'm more slender.  


After 34 years on the planet as an "identical twin," I am finally testifying to the fact that, for me, having an identical twin is the one of the best gifts God could have ever given me.  I absolutely love my sister.  Before I continue, let me quickly answer the million dollar question that may be running through your head: my sister was born first and is older by three minutes.  However, I always point out that because we were born in the '70's, our mother didn't know she was having twins until she delivered.  It's a known fact (and you can ask my dad) had the doctors have known my mother was having twins sooner, I would have been delivered first.  


Growing up as a twin is unique.  Most of the time you're treated with special attention similar to that of a celebrity; even by celebrities!  People always want to know: what's it like to be a twin?  90 percent of the time it's great (mostly because your twin isn't around so you live a normal life).  The other 10 percent of the time can be a little bothersome. Another commonly asked question we get is: if I touch you will she feel it?  No.  Or, we get this question: did you two play tricks on people when you were younger?  No (our mother would have killed us!).  Oh, and this question is also on the top of the list for us: when you look at your sister, does it feel like you're looking into a mirror? On my end, no. On her end, kind of. At least twice in the last year my sister has looked at me in sheer terror when I was either sitting next to her or walking towards her because she didn't realize I was there.  It's possible she's still not used to seeing me.  This is the first time in several years, we're living in the same state, and see each other often.  It's been freaking out a lot of people.


Growing up, it wasn't always easy for us to be thought of as "the twins" rather than individuals.  My mother did a good job of pushing our individuality.  Because of it, we've lived individual lives.  She's a former Dancer turned Teacher turned Athletic Director.  I'm a former Musician turned Teacher turned Journalist and Entrepreneur.  My sister attended a boarding school in high school.  I went to a local high school.  My sister went to college on the east coast.  I stayed on the west coast.  My sister has been married 10 years and has three children.  I'm divorced and have no children.  She met the love of her life when we were 17 years old.  I met the love of my life just nine months ago.  As luck would have it, he's an identical twin too!  But, his experience as an identical twin is very different from mine.  I think most people assume all twins have a special bond.  I know several who don't.  My boyfriend is one of them.  He also has nine other siblings.


When people hear my boyfriend is a twin, they immediately hope (or assume), should we have children, they'll be twins!  Unfortunately, what most people don't know is having identical twins doesn't run in families, nor does it skip a generation.  My boyfriend and I will be no more likely to have twins than anyone else (but it would be kind of cool).  


My sister and I talk on the phone at least once day, regardless of how close or far we live from each other.  The further we live from each other, the more we talk.  The more we're apart, the closer we become.  Although our mannerisms are similar, our taste in food is similar, our sense of humor is similar, and our morals and values and beliefs are similar, we're definitely not "just alike."  I've always been more of a risk taker, more of an explorer, more of a learner, and a tad bit more driven.  My sister is a lot more patient, more easy going, more kindhearted, and more accepting.  We compliment each other perfectly.  


I want so much to answer the question "what's it like to be a twin?" before I end this blog, but having been a twin my whole life it's hard to say!  I don't know any different!  Plus, I'm almost certain my life as an identical twin is very different from other identical twins.  Our family has never put much of an emphasis on the fact that my sister and I are twins, so neither have we.  I'm sure it wasn't easy on our older brother or younger sister that people gave us lots of attention.  I'm sure it wasn't easy for our parents to have to buy two of everything instead of one.  But, we all made do.


One thing I do believe about being an identical twins is, regardless of how close you and your twin are, most identical twins I know (myself included) long to bond deeply with someone they love and care about.  And, we tend to always have someone in our lives (a friend, a relative, a child, an animal), in some capacity, that we share a special bond with.  I'd like to think that's what makes my relationship with my boyfriend so special, so unique.  Our relationship, for me, is like starting over, only this time with a new twin.  He's my other very special gift from God.  The best part is: he let's me call him as much as I call my sister, and more importantly, he knows: I am not Ramona.

Conversations With My Grandmother

One of the things I wasn't able to do when I was young was spend a lot of time with my grandmother, either grandmother.  And, I had always been a little jealous of people I knew who had that opportunity.  Some people I know grew up with their grandmothers in their home.  My friends who have children now either live close to their parents or live with their parents.  There are times when I think 'how lucky their children will be to have grown up with their grandmothers.  My mother's mother is deceased.  I loved her dearly.  She was sick for many years, from the time I was nine years old until I was 19.  I still have childhood memories of being in the garden with her.  They were wonderful moments.  Because I grew up living with my mother, I only saw my father's mother on holidays and most weekends.  I never had a chance to get to know her.  Correction: I hadn't had a chance until now.  About two months ago, I moved in with my aunt.  My grandmother lives with my aunt.  My grandmother and I have made up for over 30 years of lost time in less than three months.


Everyday, I observe my Grandmother.  She doesn't realize it, of course.  But, everyday I notice how similar I am to her, but more than anything I realize how much I love her.  At least three days a week my grandmother and I have long, private conversations.  We debate about things.  We analyze things.  We over-analyze things.  We laugh.  We pray.  We learn about each other.  And, we support and encourage each other.    


Our conversations center around many of the same topics: family, career, relationships, love.  When we talk about family, she often tells me "who's who" - who everyone is in the family and my relation to them.  I realized the other day I need to start taking notes!  I have a hard time remembering all the names!  When we talk about our careers, she tells me how much she loved teaching, and some of the highlights of her career.  She's an advocate of women having careers should they choose.  She's also an advocate of family.  She was a stay at home mother for several years.  When we talk about her family, her face lights up.  She enjoyed raising her five children.  Even now, she has a bond with her four sons and one daughter many of her friends envy.  Our conversation about relationships and love cover everything from friendships, to relationships with men, to business relationships.  We differ on many things, but one thing's for sure, we love to love and believe love is important.


I cherish my time with my Grandmother.  I cherish our wonderful conversations.  I cherish her wisdom and willingness to spend time with me.  I can't imagine how I'll feel the day I move out of the house, but one thing's for sure: I'll have fond memories to reflect on and possibly share with my granddaughter one day about her great-grandmother.

[From left to right: me and my twin sister, Ramona (top), 

my grandmother and aunt (bottom)]

Thank you, Annie Clark

I often wonder how much would have to be taken away from me before I decide to give up on living life to it's fullest.  Or, if there's any challenge I wouldn't be able to meet, or any obstacle I would walk away from.  I don't think there is.  I've come to a point in my life where I believe anything is possible, and no matter what comes my way, I know I'll get through it and come out a better person because of it.  I attribute that belief to my faith in God.  Still, I've faced challenges that have made me want to give up.  The emotion you face during tough challenges can sometimes pull you down the road to depression.  Yet somehow, in those moments, I've managed to breathe, take life day by day, one step at a time, and more importantly...laugh, and...smile.  That said, an Inspired Moment came to me after reading this article:


http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/first-grader-born-without-hands-wins-penmanship-award-180647263--abc-news-topstories.html


The headline immediately gives away the story without you having to read the entire article.  A little girl, Annie, who's seven years old and in first grade, won an award for penmanship.  She was born without hands.


Talk about inspiring!


In some ways, it's easy for me to say I'll always be able to live life to the fullest despite any challenges or obstacles.    I have most of the things I want and everything I need.  As bad as I feel that Annie was born without hands, I can't help but be somewhat thankful for it.  Her story is truly an inspiration.


"When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds: your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great, and wonderful world.  Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be."


Pantajali

(AP Photo/Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Larry Roberts)

I love my life.  It's a roller-coaster ride full of ups, downs, twists, and turns that, these days, have become very exciting.  Do you feel that way?  I hope you do.  I don't think there's anything I'm doing in my life that I don't want to do (besides the dishes every now and then).  Nor, do I have any regrets.  I returned home to California a year and a half ago assuming my life would go one way.  Turns out God had different plans for me.  It ended up going a totally different way that I never saw coming!  And, guess what?  I am so happy about it!  It's amazing how enjoyable life can be, and how content you become when you have a positive mindset.  


I've spent the last 11 months working to create a positive mindset.  And, let me tell you, it hasn't been easy.  It's been a long, and often turbulent journey that I still work at everyday.  I was never a negative person, but negativity did have somewhat of a hold on my life for a very long time.  Negative thinking was introduced to me at a very young age.  Growing up, there were times when challenges would make me think so negatively about things that I'd want to run away from life.  I would go through challenges kicking and screaming, doubting my self-worth, comparing myself to others, and wanting what other people had.  But, here's what I now know: strength comes in  weakness.  Adversity doesn't have to be as challenging as we make it out to be.    


I'm now in a new chapter in my life.  My new goal is to pinpoint my purpose(s).  I believe this blog will bring me close.  Being an Entrepreneur has brought me much closer.  If you can survive the ups, downs, twists, and turns of owning your own business, I believe you can accomplish almost anything.  


"What life means to us is determined, not so much by what life brings as by the attitude we bring to life; not so much by what happens to us as by our reaction to what happens."


Lewis L. Dunnington

A Timless Three-Word Quote

One of the best three-word phrases, or quotes, ever created (in my opinion, of course) is: "Expect the unexpected." These three words have been running through my head since about 9:00 am.  I'm not sure why.  Maybe someone in the world needs to hear these words.  Or, maybe it's more important that the words came to me.  I did some quick research on this quote.  One site I found showed that this quote was first used in a sentence by an Ancient Greek Philosopher by the name of Heraclitus.  Assuming that's correct, what a profound statement!  And, how amazing is it that those three words spoken so long ago are...timeless.  While pondering the phrase this morning and afternoon, I began to think about how important it is to expect the unexpected.  A lot of us (myself included) don't always like to do that.  But these days, I'm learning how important it is.  Of course, we don't want to dwell on the fact that bad things can happen unexpectedly.  But, in the back of our mind we should know that life can change in an instant.  A stranger can walk into our lives and turn our world upside down at any moment.  Someone we know can walk out of our lives at any moment.  A tragedy can happen through no fault of our own.  Or, we can receive an amazing gift unexpectedly.  As I thought of these things I began to analyze the quote a little more (because I love to analyze everything), and I thought "OK, but what do we after the unexpected happens?"  Then, a specific situation came to mind. Someone very close to me last year had someone walk into their life unexpectedly.  They're now slowly creating a loving relationship with this person that they haven't fully adjusted to, and in some ways, don't want to adjust to.  Although I'm sure this person knows to "expect the unexpected," I'm not sure they know quite how to handle it.  As I reflected on this situation the light bulb came on (A-HA!), and in came the answer to my question: what do we do after the unexpected happens?  We just...embrace it.  Whether the unexpected brings hardship, pain, joy, or love, we experience growth when we embrace unexpected events.  So, today I challenge you (and myself) to not only "expect the unexpected," but embrace the unexpected.  After all, this unexpected thought brought on an inspired moment that has blessed my day.


"Don't fear change - embrace it."


Anthony J. D'Angelo