I know what you're thinking: "they don't look alike!" A lot of people say that. Then, they see this picture:
Some people recognize subtle differences between the two of us. I think the differences are huge. Her face is round. Mine is narrow. She has two dimples. I have one big one. My sister's smile always looks so calm, so natural, so angelic. Mine is always rather wide and forced. Her hair is longer. My skin is a little lighter. She's a little taller. I'm more slender.
After 34 years on the planet as an "identical twin," I am finally testifying to the fact that, for me, having an identical twin is the one of the best gifts God could have ever given me. I absolutely love my sister. Before I continue, let me quickly answer the million dollar question that may be running through your head: my sister was born first and is older by three minutes. However, I always point out that because we were born in the '70's, our mother didn't know she was having twins until she delivered. It's a known fact (and you can ask my dad) had the doctors have known my mother was having twins sooner, I would have been delivered first.
Growing up as a twin is unique. Most of the time you're treated with special attention similar to that of a celebrity; even by celebrities! People always want to know: what's it like to be a twin? 90 percent of the time it's great (mostly because your twin isn't around so you live a normal life). The other 10 percent of the time can be a little bothersome. Another commonly asked question we get is: if I touch you will she feel it? No. Or, we get this question: did you two play tricks on people when you were younger? No (our mother would have killed us!). Oh, and this question is also on the top of the list for us: when you look at your sister, does it feel like you're looking into a mirror? On my end, no. On her end, kind of. At least twice in the last year my sister has looked at me in sheer terror when I was either sitting next to her or walking towards her because she didn't realize I was there. It's possible she's still not used to seeing me. This is the first time in several years, we're living in the same state, and see each other often. It's been freaking out a lot of people.
Growing up, it wasn't always easy for us to be thought of as "the twins" rather than individuals. My mother did a good job of pushing our individuality. Because of it, we've lived individual lives. She's a former Dancer turned Teacher turned Athletic Director. I'm a former Musician turned Teacher turned Journalist and Entrepreneur. My sister attended a boarding school in high school. I went to a local high school. My sister went to college on the east coast. I stayed on the west coast. My sister has been married 10 years and has three children. I'm divorced and have no children. She met the love of her life when we were 17 years old. I met the love of my life just nine months ago. As luck would have it, he's an identical twin too! But, his experience as an identical twin is very different from mine. I think most people assume all twins have a special bond. I know several who don't. My boyfriend is one of them. He also has nine other siblings.
When people hear my boyfriend is a twin, they immediately hope (or assume), should we have children, they'll be twins! Unfortunately, what most people don't know is having identical twins doesn't run in families, nor does it skip a generation. My boyfriend and I will be no more likely to have twins than anyone else (but it would be kind of cool).
My sister and I talk on the phone at least once day, regardless of how close or far we live from each other. The further we live from each other, the more we talk. The more we're apart, the closer we become. Although our mannerisms are similar, our taste in food is similar, our sense of humor is similar, and our morals and values and beliefs are similar, we're definitely not "just alike." I've always been more of a risk taker, more of an explorer, more of a learner, and a tad bit more driven. My sister is a lot more patient, more easy going, more kindhearted, and more accepting. We compliment each other perfectly.
I want so much to answer the question "what's it like to be a twin?" before I end this blog, but having been a twin my whole life it's hard to say! I don't know any different! Plus, I'm almost certain my life as an identical twin is very different from other identical twins. Our family has never put much of an emphasis on the fact that my sister and I are twins, so neither have we. I'm sure it wasn't easy on our older brother or younger sister that people gave us lots of attention. I'm sure it wasn't easy for our parents to have to buy two of everything instead of one. But, we all made do.
One thing I do believe about being an identical twins is, regardless of how close you and your twin are, most identical twins I know (myself included) long to bond deeply with someone they love and care about. And, we tend to always have someone in our lives (a friend, a relative, a child, an animal), in some capacity, that we share a special bond with. I'd like to think that's what makes my relationship with my boyfriend so special, so unique. Our relationship, for me, is like starting over, only this time with a new twin. He's my other very special gift from God. The best part is: he let's me call him as much as I call my sister, and more importantly, he knows: I am not Ramona.
This is really special. So glad that you shared Ramona....lol!! Deanna jk
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